Development of Independence

Depending on others is normal at some developmental stages. For instance, needs, such as food and transportation, must be provided for a child. But dependency becomes a concern when the child becomes reliant on others for making decisions, meeting personal responsibilities, or for self-help skills such as reading or personal care. Parents can encourage appropriate independence by:

•  Providing for age-appropriate supervision of a child's play

•  Encouraging independent decision-making for tasks the child can choose, such as allowing the child to choose what clothes to wear

•  Supporting the child's completion of a responsibility, such as cleaning the room and making the bed

•  Fostering social development by allowing the child to choose friends and activities

•  Assisting the child in developing problem-solving skills, such as finding the solutions in arguments or difficulties

By avoiding doing for the child what the child is capable of doing for himself or herself, parents can nurture the development of self-reliance in their child. The child's setting of goals and striving to reach those goals supports confidence and self-esteem.

It can be a common pitfall for busy parents to complete tasks for which the child is responsible and is capable of completing. Though it may actually take more time initially for the parent to require the child to do age-appropriate tasks, the child's self confidence and independence will flourish as a result.

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