Characteristics of the Independent Child

Appropriately independent children exude enthusiasm and optimism. They set goals and work to achieve those goals. They learn the cause and effect of behaviors, such as studying in order to pass a test. They learn that in order to succeed at a new activity, they will need to practice it. They will meet new people and new situations knowing that they have developed the skills to handle the new situation. They enjoy the satisfaction of accomplishing realistic goals and learning new skills.

The degree of independence can vary with the situation and the child. Children may be more independent in some situations than others. Often they are more independent in situations where they have learned self-reliance by past successes.

You can help promote independence by:

•  Exposing your child to new situations with enough support to promote success

•  Expecting your child to do well and make good choices

•  Helping your child set achievable goals and work toward achieving those goals

•  Honoring your child's decisions when possible

•  Modeling setting goals, taking steps to achieve them, and carrying out those steps

•  Respecting the uniqueness of your child

•  Providing adequate support for your child in situations that may be challenging

•  Assuring your child of your love

•  Supporting your child in relationships with friends and classmates

•  Teaching your child that mistakes are opportunities to learn

•  Teaching skills in areas your child may experience with difficulty

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