Characteristics of Successful Self-Care

Child is developmentally ready for self-care . If you are not quite convinced that your child is ready, you may wish to gradually introduce self-care into the routine, starting out with short periods and then gradually increasing the amount of time and number of times per week your child is in self-care. You will eventually find a nice balance between self-care and other childcare arrangements that you can continue to refine as your child grows older and more mature. Remember, every child is different, and what works well for one may not work well for another.

Home alone is best . Research shows that self-care children who are required to return home after school are at lower risk for risky behaviors, misbehavior, academic problems, and emotional problems than self-care children who are allowed to hang out in settings away from home, or self-care children who return home with a peer or older sibling.

In fact, most self-care children who return home alone are at no greater risk for behavioral, emotional, or academic problems than children who are cared for by an adult after school.

Children who are allowed to hang out away from home or are allowed to spend time alone with a peer or older sibling are more vulnerable to the effects of peer pressure (resulting in misbehavior) and are less likely to complete homework (resulting in poorer academic performance). In turn, children who routinely engage in misbehavior and have poor academic performance are at greater risk for low self-esteem and depression. So, for best results, your child should return home alone.

Children in self-care typically spend less time after school with peers than supervised children because many parents will not allow their child to visit unsupervised peers. Your child may complain that he or she does not get to spend time with friends and feels left out as a result. A possible solution is to allow your child to visit a supervised friend. Be sure to speak to the friend's parent to make sure the parent does not mind supervising your child. In exchange, you can have your child's friend over at times that you are home.

Parent from a distance . There are a number of things you can do to supervise your child from a distance. To ensure that your child returns home immediately after school (or after supervised school activities) ask him or her to call you at work. If this is not possible owing to the nature of your work, ask your child to leave a message on your home answering machine, which you can then check when you have a break. If your child is home alone for an extended period (say, more than 2 hours) then he or she should be required to call you periodically to check in.

You should also establish a set of rules and a routine for your child to follow once he or she gets home. Brainstorm with your child some fun activities that he or she can do while home alone. Remember that if your child feels you have established these rules and guidelines together (rather than your doing it yourself), then your child will be more apt to follow them.

Establish a safe area for your child . Safety issues, in part, depend upon the location of your home. Children who live in some urban settings may have to cope with dangerous or even illegal activity in their immediate neighborhood. Other children may have to cope with being home alone with the closest neighbor miles away. Regardless of the location of your home, it is important for you to evaluate the safety of your neighborhood and then establish a safe area for your child. Children should then be instructed to stay within the safe area. For some children, the safe area may not extend beyond the front door. For others the safe area may not extend beyond the fenced-in backyard or the front sidewalk.

Establish a safe route home from school. If your child is provided transportation home either by the school or by another parent, this is not an issue. If your child walks home, be sure he or she is knowledgeable about stranger safety and what to do if approached by a stranger. Establish a safe route home and practice walking the route with your child. Your child may feel safer and more comfortable walking home with another child who lives nearby. If this is the case, be sure to set rules regarding when and where your child may stop (store, library) and what time you expect him or her to be home.

Teach and test your child's understanding of safety issues . Your child should know specifically what information should not be given over the telephone and what should be done if someone knocks on the door. Your child should be knowledgeable about first aid and what to do in an emergency. Your child should know what to do in the case of severe weather. You should also establish rules with your child about what kitchen appliances can be used and what cannot be used. Practice with your child such activities as preparing a snack, calling 911, answering the door and phone, and responding to severe weather warnings.

Many schools and communities offer programs teaching safety awareness to children. Talk to your school psychologist about programs in your area. In addition, the resources listed at the end of this handout provide valuable information on teaching your child how to be safe.

Limit the amount of time spent in self-care . The amount of time spent unsupervised is related to behavior problems such as drug and alcohol use, cigarette smoking, sexual behavior, as well as risk for victimization. Establishing clear rules and expectations and scheduling routine contact by telephone can help reduce this risk.

If your child begins to get into trouble, is acting differently, or is showing signs of emotional problems, he or she may be spending too much time in self-care. Talk with other parents about their after-school arrangements, speak with your school psychologist about other options for your child, or contact your local YMCA or local recreation office (many communities have one) about other after-school arrangements. Speak with your child about supervised after-school activities that he or she may be interested in.

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