Development: Toddlers

In contrast to infants, toddlers seek out and act upon their social environments. They want toys that belong to other children, but they must learn to recognize boundaries and respect the feelings of others. During their toddler years, children learn how to play cooperatively, wait their turns, and find ways to express frustration in more appropriate ways than a temper tantrum. These new skills are learned by modeling the behaviors of parents, teachers, and other children, and through the shaping of new skills (praising small steps) by significant adults.

There will be awkward moments when the toddler plays alone or parallel to other children, as if to avoid social or cooperative play. This is normal. The child may miss his or her mother when she leaves him at the daycare or preschool. Tears can be reduced if the parent positively encourages the child and teaches resilience by reminding her that Mommy will always come back for her and pointing out the wonderful play opportunities available.

Sharing with others will be another challenge. Toddlers may hit, push, and poke to retain what is "theirs." While they may not be able to understand another child's feelings or point of view when a problem arises, they will begin to try to please their parents and teachers. Toddlers have the wonderful capacity to use words, phrases, and simple sentences to make their needs known and thus have fewer tantrums.

Parents and teachers can help toddlers to learn new social skills by encouraging social and cooperative play, by helping children learn to share their toys, use their words to express what they feel and what they need, assert themselves when bullied, and follow simple group rules and routines.

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