Emotional Responses

Emotional responses vary in nature and severity from child to child. Reactions to what they hear and fear will depend to some degree on age and family experience. Children who have suffered a personal loss from terrorist acts or military actions will be much more vulnerable, as will children who have had friends and family members affected by such events. Also at greater risk are children whose parents are in the military or in active duty in the reserve forces, and those children whose parents are involved in emergency response or public safety. Nonetheless, there are some similarities in how children (and adults) feel when their lives are impacted by war or the threat of war:

· Fear: Fear may be the most common reaction--fear for the safety of those in the military as well as fear for their own safety. Children's fantasies of war may include mental pictures of bombs dropping on their home or school, or of soldiers shooting guns. While their worries are probably exaggerated, they are often based on real media images of terrorist attacks or war scenes - either images they have seen on the news or in entertainment programming. When children hear rumors at school and pick up bits of information from television, their imaginations may run wild. Any publicized threat of war or terrorism close to home may also add to their fear. While older children may be able to put such threats into realistic perspective, young children may regard any reference to war as immediate and life-threatening.

· Loss of control: Military actions are something over which children--and most adults--have no control. Lack of control can be overwhelming and confusing. Children may grasp at any control that they have, including refusing to cooperate, go to school, part with favorite toys, or leave their parents.

· Anger: Anger is a common reaction. Unfortunately, children (and adults!) often direct their anger toward those closest to them because they can't express their anger toward terrorists or countries with whom we are at war. Some children may show anger toward absent parents who are in the military, even to the extent that they do not want to write letters or talk on the phone. Patriotism and duty are abstract concepts, especially for younger children who may be experiencing the concrete reality of a protracted separation from a loved one for the first time.

· Loss of stability: War or military deployment interrupts family routines. It is unsettling.When their usual schedules and activities are disrupted, children may experience increasing levels of stress and need for reassurance.

· Isolation: Some children in military families may feel isolated, particularly if they do not live near other families in similar circumstances. Such children may feel jealous of friends' undisturbed families and may strike out. Other children may have been displaced due to a parent's deployment. Not only do these children experience separation from parents, but they also experience the loss of familiar faces and surroundings.

· Confusion This can occur on two levels. First, children may feel confused about terrorism and war, and they may be uncertain regarding what dangers lie ahead. Second, children may have trouble understanding the difference between violence they see as entertainment and the real events they see taking place on the news. Today's children live in the world of Armageddon, Independence Day, Air Force One, and cartoon Super Heroes. Some of the modern media violence is unnervingly real. Youngsters may have difficulty separating reality from fantasy, cartoon heroes and villains from the government soldiers and real terrorists. Separating the realities of war from media fantasy may require adult help.

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